Gosh, well.....I guess I'm just looking for moral support from people who really understand. Unremarkable story....didn't fly til late teens, few holidays, work stuff. Wasn't too concerned- nothing triggered my reluctance to fly though I wasn't too keen on 12 seater plane on return from a course. Had booked a holiday with kids, aged 2 and 9 months at the time, and 2 days before, I turned into a crumbling wreck and the holiday was cancelled on medical advice. Forward 10 years and many holidays driving all round Europe and I vow to tackle the issue by my 40th. Booked on BA course at Glasgow airport, since then have flown with Mum, friends, partner and alone round UK and Europe with moderate success. I listen to CD's, have read all the books, have had NLP (another session booked for Monday) and still find it such a challenge. On Friday 26th, I'm off to Menorca with my girls, who are now 14 and 16 and my Mum. The girls have flown before several times with their Dad and love it. My mum loves flying and very much sees it as part of the holiday. I'd love to share their enthusiasm but the 2 years that has elapsed since my last flight (didn't go last yr cos of credit crunch) has added to my anxiety. I've tried very hard not to let my anxiety influence the girls and I don't want to blow it next week!!
Put the past behind you and think about what you will achieve. And curiously the way to do that is not to think about the future but to stay in the 'now'. Get through each day , hour, minute one at a time.
You don't need to be enthusiastic about flying...you just need to do it with less anxiety than now. That's possible....even for you!
Talk of 'blowing it' next week is not helpful, you're setting the day up as a challenge...which in your mood you're not likely overcome.
Let me know the things that worry you and we'll sort them out one by one.
Thanks for your reply and words of support- I really appreciate them. The thing is I don't really know what troubles me- I just feel as if I'm doing something dangerous. Of course I know I'm not, but how to believe it. I know it's in my mind and I'm definitely guilty of beating myself up over it. It's all anticipatory; once the plane takes off and levels out, I'm pretty much as relaxed as the next guy and wondering what all the (exhausting!) fuss was about. Thanks for listening:)
Thanks again Keith,
Have just watched them all through and I think that getting the multi-sensory experience is key. No matter how many times I imagine a flight, or however often I listen to a hypnotherapy CD, it's impossible to conjure up the sounds and physical sensations involved....these videos are definitely going to help!!
I think your comments in the book about airports adding to the stress are spot-on. An area reserved for anxious flyers with support available would be a great service.
Just wanted to say that that's me back after a lovely, though rather hot, week in Menorca with my two daughters. I'm so delighted that I've managed to go on holiday with them by air before they don't want to- probably sooner, rather than later!! I also want to tell you that of all the things I've done in the past 4 years to deal with my fear (courses, reading, NLP, CD's, etc) that I believe this website, and especially your personal help, has been the most beneficial. So, thank you so much:) The girls were especially impressed with my thorough knowledge of all things aviational- dunno if there's such a word but you know what I mean! I'll definitely be back...am off to Austria in a couple of wks. Cheers for now.
Sorry I have just picked up your post (had lots going on so havnt been around) but can I just say......WELL DONE...... you must feel fantastic that you managed to face your fear.
It's not easy this 'fear of flying' lark is it? and the anticipatory anxiety is a killer but it goes to show that when we get our 'positive head' out of the moth balls we CAN do it. I am so pleased for you and the book..........it's a block of gold as far as I'm concerned :)
Thank you for your lovely message, I really appreciate you taking the time to write. No, it's not easy but I do think that this site has been the biggest help out of all the things I've tried so far! I'd had the book for a few months, bought it off Amazon at the start of the year, as I knew I'd potentially have a few flights. Typically, didn't notice the www link til a couple of weeks before my holiday but I'm SO glad I did..........it made such a difference to my preparation for the holiday. It's the anticipation that does for me too normally, and I can't believe the difference to a month ago (I'm flying again a week on Sat). I'm astonished and so chuffed!! What a great service! And you've had brilliant success too- dunno if I'd be ready for Oz yet?!!!
To be honest I wasn't ready for OZ either but it was the only way I could see my daughter and 2 young grand children because for financial reasons they cannot come to the UK yet.......so for me it was a case of HAVING to try and do something.
I found this site in desperation because I had never flown in my life because I was terified....was even frightened of airports !!! but I met so many genuine people here (not least of which was Keith of course) who knew how I felt and gave me sound advice. They encouraged me, supported me and all but got on the planes with me. When I got to OZ I was so chuffed that I had done it I rang Keith at silly o'clock in the morning (thought it was 1pm in afternoon...lol) and bless him he still took the time to talk to me to say how happy he was for me.
I could never have done it without this forum. I am so glad you are finding and getting the support you need here, I am booked to go back to OZ in December and the 'anticipatory anxiety' is kicking in so I have to keep as positive as I possibly can and keep telling myself I have done it before and when I get there it will be 14 months since I saw the girls so that is my motivation. We talk to each other every day on msn but it dosent make up for those cuddles.
Stay strong, stay positive and remember that the anticipatory anxiety is just that 'anticipatory' it's just our safety mechanism telling us to stay at home where we feel safe. But that dosent give us experiences we can get from travelling does it? :)
Just a quick update......Austria on Saturday. A tiny bit of nerves creeping in now but I haven't given it much thought up until now. What a turn-around that is! Just watched the take-off videos again- a few times seem to be enough of a reminder. Wish I'd found this website earlier, but so glad that I have now.....am recommending you to everyone I know!!
Thanks Phoebe. Am off again on Saturday, this time to Austria, and I am actually, genuinely, properly looking forward to it. I never thought I'd say that about a holiday that involved flight!! I've read your whole initial post about your trip to Oz....it's great to read about other peoples experiences. I think you've done marvellously well.....I know you're going to have a fabulous time in December and the delight at cuddling your girls will make the effort so worthwhile! Well done you