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I've chickened out of booking a 2 week holiday in July :-( I was due to go with my partner and 2 friends and now I've let them down. I just can't do it. The sweats, tremors, feeling sick is too much.
When I flew las year I was such a nervous reck, I drank loads of alcohol on top of valium and it didn't do anything. I felt wide awake and painfully aware of every movement. I couldn't even put my feet on the plane's floor because I didn't like the vibration. We hit a bit of turbulence and my drink sloshed around abit. Everything rattlled. The plane seemed old - it was all yellow inside, which I believe is due to tobacco stains - god knows how long ago since you could smoke on planes.
When we landed, I felt so relieved and enjoyed the holiday for a few days. Then the fear set in. I couldn't sleep, eat, I was constantly in the toilet throwing up due to nerves - my return flight wasn't until a week later. I seriously contemplated getting back home from Greece by boat. It was only a push and a shove from my family that I managed to get on the return flight home. I stresed them out so much too. I feel so guilty about that. I looked like a bedraggled old dog by the time we landed at Gatwick....
I don't know why I've got so bad - I've enjoyed many holidays abroad by plane with only moderate levels of anxiety. But somehow, I've since got it in my head that the next flight will be 'my turn'. I have the most awful, vivid images and dreams. So, I feel I can't do this. I'm hoping that in the future my need for the sun will outweigh the anxiety and I'll take the plunge. Maybe I should take a fear of flying course? I'm really scared of dying if I'm completely honest - maybe it is this that I need to address? I don't know - I feel like a complete and utter wimp.
ps sorry for babbling so much
Why don't you persuade Gareth to come to the July course...and if you do why don't you come as his supporter?
Stop all this wimp/failure /weirdo talk...you know it's not so.
So elastic bands on and we'll see you on the 17th July Yes?
Not long now before 5th August flight to Marrakesh, am in a terrible state but trying to keep calm and do the right things, ping ping and listening to CD over and over. Have booked another flight in October so am never giving in going to stay strong.
Fab to hear the last course went so well Keith!