Hi all, I am new to this site and have suffered with a flying phobia for the last 8 yrs. I fly several times a year and my shakes/ nightmares/ tears throughout flight are slowly getting worse. Just returned from tenerife. On the flight over there was a lot of turbulance particularly when plane was descending. Worse than i have ever known. My husband was helping me through my panic attack saying we are over the runway, we will be down any minute then suddenly the plane powers up and lots of noise inside the plane and we start to 'take off' again. It was the scariest thing i have ever experienced. We climbed back into the sky, circled then captain said he was going to attempt another landing. The feeling of not knowing what was happening and the loud noises and sudden banking and change in the angle of the plane i actually thought we were crashing. This has now pushed my fear over the edge to a point that i dont thing i have any control of. Almost didnt get on the flight home then the bad luck continued when the luggage belt crashed into the plane while we were on it and the damage had to be evaluated and repaired whilst we were on the plane before we were cleared for take off. Could hear the banging and everything. Would have got off the plane if it hadnt been for fab cabin crew. Anyone been through this? Any advice on how to get over this experience? Having read up on this i now know 'go arounds' are standard safety procedures but at the time i had no idea what was happening. I am lying here awake as i am still feeling anxious even though i got home Friday :-(

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Hi Ash

I have a lot of experience of this sort of thing...but then you'd expect that wouldn't you?

There are lots of things in your post so I'll go thru' them in order:

We climbed back into the sky, circled then captain said he was going to attempt another landing.

This is a normal and straightforward procedure...have a look at the video on this site to see Jasper  actually doing  a GO Around.  Attempt...is a word that sounds as if  the situation is risky...but it's just the way we, as pilots would describe it...but from your point of view not a great use of words.

...bad luck continued when the luggage belt crashed into the plane

that's not bad luck...just something that happened....now you are using the wrong words.

the damage had to be evaluated and repaired whilst we were on the plane before we were cleared for take off.


But isn't that better than just ignoring the event and flying anyway?  Having it checked is what you'd prefer I'm sure. How would you have felt if they had not checked the plane...a whole lot worse I bet.

I am lying here awake as i am still feeling anxious even though i got home Friday


Yes and how great is that...you stuck with it...you faced your fear and  you will be even better prepared next time.

Put this down as a success.

But this is just the start...read up on the stuff on this site and the main one...arm yourself with informationa nd startegies and like so many people that are in this forum you'll find a way of  coping with your anxieties ...and eventually overcome them.

Keith

Thanks Captain Keith. You're right i was using the wrong language and making more of a drama of the return journey because i was still anxious after the journey over to tenerife. I am definately going to be booking myself on to one of your courses. I cant let this fear ruin future holidays or my family's holidays.

Thanks again
Ash

Ash

Well done you...nearly  cured already. I look forward to meeting you.

Keith

I experienced 2 go arounds in 2008 on attempting to land in strong winds in Edinburgh.... we finally landed in Glasgow. I already had a fear & had completed 3 courses to help me deal with my fear since experiencing turbulence in 2006. (not with Keith) This experience raised my fear again & totally removed all the confidence I'd gained.

Since 2008 I have spent lots of money on hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT & psychotherapy.... I'm now reading Keith's book for the 3rd time.

 I booked a holiday to Majorca last night leaving on the 28th of this month....  I am visualising a happy, confident,excited me but then the fear of panic causes me to catch my breath & try steady the turmoil in my stomach.

I know I will be ok but can't get rid of the fear.. I'm flying with Easyjet.... Today I looked in the sky and saw the orange tipped plane ... it only had 2 engines! How can I trust a 2 engined plane to get me to Majorca? I know this is stupid & can guess Keith's reply .... but can't remove these thoughts.... now thinking Diazepam.. !

Hi Jaqui

How many engines does your car have...and how often has it stopped?

The answer is NOT    "but if it stops I can get out and walk"  that's the answer to "what are the consequences?"

How many times has your car engine stopped. 1? 5? 22? 953? Never?

Keith

only ever stopped cos I stalled it.... a plane can glide & land, right?!

Yep!

jacqui stachan said:

only ever stopped cos I stalled it.... a plane can glide & land, right?!

right

k

No ! It'll make only worse. I've already come through it. It's bad, not solving problems and only makes things worse and more complicated. Everything should be set in your head by yourself. I'm making lots of effort to do that, for example. I'm feeling better and better. If I'd feel the same after my transatlantic flight then I think it will be huge step forwards. So don't go into medicine or alcohol. Go into yourself.

For example in my case it helps to think about lots of ways to die on the ground and how big is risk. Then you start to think that you're really safe in plane no matter that it can feel little bit uncomfortable sometimes :) Look at the bright side: you'll never see mountain tops from your car's window ;)

jacqui stachan said:

.... but can't remove these thoug now thinking Diazepam.. !

I like your thinking Darius & thanks for taking time to reply (you too Kate). You are doing so well, I admire you. I feel I have taken a huge step forward by booking a holiday.... reading last year's post  on this site I remember how hopeless I felt. I'm excited but scared too. Not scared about flying as I know how safe it is & your right the risks are so much greater on the ground!

I fear the feelings on take off, I don't look out the window as I fear the height, I don't enjoy cruisin though feel marginally better & hate descent as it's always bumpy through the clouds..

Strategies: deep breathing, hypnotherapy CD, Keith's book,looking forward to the beach, heat etc, wine, Diazepam on standby....challenging negative thoughts, trusting the pilot & telling all around me I'm **** scared!!

My husband is like a child at Xmas counting the sleeps.... I just know this time next week I'll be trerrified unless I get thoughts under control!

Don't program yourself about for the next flight "I know I'll be terrified". No you don't know. I also do not look out the window, I also don't like heights, but.... why we all think about death when we talk about planes ? We do not do that when speaking about everyday life. Do we ? Flight, especially landing will be bumpy. So what ? What it will change ? Nothing. On the other hand why we care about death and they way it might come ? It will come without letting us know, but instead we could enjoy life and flying.

Well, basically that's the thought I try to keep in my head after reading Keith's book, after trying to help myself, after sitting in this forum. Believe it or not, but such kind of thoughts helps me a lot. Maybe it is one of the ways I'll keep my fear away from me as far as possible.

Yes, it's not so easy when flight is upcoming, but that's why we improve here. Isn't it :)

One more thing about fear of heights. I've found this technique working for me - do not look out of the windows on take off. One you reach 36000 feet you don't feel the height. Most important is not to think about it. Think that you're just traveling and that's it. No matter at what height and no matter what transportation you're using.

Well it was the thoughts kinda helping me. I think most important thing is not to program yourself and not predict what will happen (I'll be terrified and so on). Everything will be as it should. Just keep being strong as you are now.

Very wise words Darius! I am going to try and follow your advice and not programme myself to be frightened of next flight-even before i have booked it!! Jacqui- i totally understand what you went through on those 'go arounds'. I have read up on it and feel strangely reassured that a plane has that kind of power on landing. I always thought that if a plane was landing and slowing that it had to land if you know what i mean. It was not knowing what was happening that got me panicking plus it was so bumpy. Like keith said- the captain was to busy to have a chat over loud speakers to tell me what was going on :-)

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