bad dreams

[lotty]

I have always been scared off flying. Mainly take off but I have recently had a bad dream involing a flight I am taking in a couple of weeks. I was desperate not 2 get on the plane but had no choise, I was on the return from trip - ldn to belfast and suddenly found myself on the plane. It was almost skimming the water. Next thing I was in a car and chatting away as I had made it home and was so so happy. I am now really worried this will come true but the plane will crash. Has anyone else had this and if so what did they do. I feel so scared and want to change my flight home but I think my boyfriend will thing I'm mad.
Any help or advice would be really welcome x

[Fay]

Hey Lotty

Yeah I dream about flying about once a month at least! My planes skim the ground too. I also have dreams about monsters eating me and all sorts of nighmares sometimes, but they don't come true. There is no reason why your dream will come true either. When has anyone's dream come true? Gosh last night I drempt I was naked in a public place! Lets hope that doesn't come true!

Your boyfriend wont think your mad. Share your thoughts with him and he can give you some support perhaps. Also everytme you have these thoughts, shout in your head 'NO' and think of something good about the flight. That's what I do and did last night when I was flying back from Lanzarote. Always shake the negative out your head and fill it with something good about the flight.

Don't worry. You'll be fine and keep us posted.

Fay






.

[JessKa]

i think you have nothing to worry about, i have alot of dreams that im driving towards an t-intersection with a rock wall ahead of me and my brakes dont work, no matter how hard i push the car doesnt slow down and i wake up just before i hit the wall sweating and nervous, but im not scared of driving a car.... so i think its just because your mind is on the flight so ur dreaming about it. i have alot of dreams about flying too, but ignore them coz they are just dreams. just know that ur not alone, im heaps scared of takeoff too and i have a long flight from europe to mexico in 7 days and i cant stop thinking about it. but i always feel comfort in knowing that im not the only one with this fear...

[lotty]

Thank u so much 4 ur kind replies - I think its that thing of being totally out of control that scares me so much. And I just keep thinking what if I could do something to change it but ur replies have helped somewhat x I guess I will just have to try and go for it. I hate flying over water as I cannot really swim and also think there is nothing u can do if you land on water. Do you think this is the case?

[Captain Keith]

Hi Lotty and Jesska

If you're scared of the take off then keep watching the take off videos on this network and go to the fearofflying.com web site for more information. Being out of control is a natural feeling in an aeroplane for fearful flyers although being in a similar position on a train or coach doean't seem to apply...or is it because even at 70 mph on a coach you could get to the front move the driver take over the steering apply the brakes and stop safely?

Planes float when they land on water don't they? And don't all the passengers get off unharmed? Well that's what happened on the Hudson River!!

Choose the facts that will re-inforce the fact that flying is safe.


Ask me anything you like...I'm here to answer your questions and allay your fears.

Captain Keith

[lotty]

Thanks for your advice and support. Was feeling better but now scared again as I keep thinking I'm getting signs not to fly - which would sound completly crazy if I shared them!! If a plane does go down on the water though is there much chance of surviving? As, with the exception on the hudson crash, I would believe there was not. Thanks again for your help

[Captain Keith]

Hi Lotty

Why make the Hudson crash and exception...that's what happened...every one survived. Planes don't often ditch in the sea but the in the few that have there have been survivors. But why would your plane do that? Where's the evidence for believing it will happen to you?

The chances are that it won't happen to you...work on that idea. What ever you think are signs not to fly are more likely to be everyday events that YOU are turning into reasons not to fly.

Keith

[lotty]

I know you are right in my rational mind but I keep having this apsolute fear that it will happen and yes I am seeing signs all over the place!

I've just spoken to a friend who was an air hostess and she said she had bad dreams all the time when she was flying but just got on with it.

I then was talking to another friend with us and he said that bad things happen in threes. I.e air france & yeman. I feel completely anxious again. Would any of you cancel your flight if you were me?

I really dont know what to do for the best and need to find a way to calm down as I am so scared I am going to completly freak out on the plane.

[andyb99]

Hi Lotty, i'm totally terrified of flying but i'd never cancel the flight, on your superstition of bad things happening in 3's....my view is this...if there had already been 3 crashes this year would you not be afraid to fly??? course you would...or the 3 could be hudson, air france, yemen...so are you no longer afraid?? course you are.

you wont freak out, cause you will have decided to do it....and thats already controlling your fear.

any dont forget, you're more likely to get hit by lightning TWICE on the way home from buying a winning lottery ticket.......keep telling yourself that...it works for me.

[lotty]

Thanks so much - fantastic advice. I just want to relax and enjoy my time away and thinking logically will help!

[Cristina Stephens]

...

Except that this isn't true. I do not want to upset anyone, but one of the reasons why my fear is so persistent and so deep seated is because I feel cheated on, manipulated and lied to by all of those airline "safety statistics" flying around, no pun intended. Statistics are central to my work - so I think I understand them fairly well. Not a statistician... but almost. And I looked at what's out there, how they are calculated, the language used for promotion, the context etc - and Iwas very disappointed and yes, scared. I am not at all convinced that flying is a safe undertaking. I could elaborate on it and defend my argument with the most rational tools in existence (pure MATH!) if I did not face a 2 leg, long flight in two weeks.
I just wish that misinformation and the exaggerated "safety" parables were less used to convince people that flying is safe. I'd prefer to see more effort put into making flying truly safe - as in not flying in bad weather regardless of delays, not sparing anything when it comes to updating or replacing various parts of aircraft. Etc.

[Captain Keith]

Hi Christina...safety has a price. It has a price financially and socially.

Safety is the balance of threat versus defence and the difference is the risk.
Leave your car unlocked and there's a threat of the contents being stolen.

Lock the car and there's a chance that the car could be forcibly entered and the contents stolen.

Put it in a garage and it's out of view but an opportunist thief could try the garage door and if it weren't locked would have access to forcibly breaking into the car and stealing the contents.

Lock the garage door and you might tempt a thief into smashing it down forcibly enerering your car and stealing the contents.

Post apoliceman outside the garage but a gang of thieves could overpower him.

Build an impregnable wall around the garage and the thieves could get in by helicopter. OK let's have a surface to air missile...no, no, no hang on a minute we're spending thousands of pounds to protect something we needn't leave in the car anyway.

And the same applies to aviation and any form of travel...what price a ticket for complete safety? How much would a train ticket cost to have paramedics on board to treat injured people in case the train crashed?

How much to have a doctor and operating theater installed in your home in case you had a heart attack.

Everything has a price ...what we get in aviation is very very high safety standards very low levels of external threat, and very low risk as a result.

Safe compared to what? Riding a motor cycle crossing a road? Eating unhealthily?

One final point ...imagine you've had a car for ages...say a year old...would you make it safer by removing the brakes and replacing them? What about a new windscreen every six months ...make that 3 months in the winter.
I labour the point not to win the argument...that's not the point...but for you to counter it and then for me to counter that until we both understand each other's exact positions and definitions of safety.

The medical, railway, and atomic energy industries all follow the standards that aviation sets in safety cultures.

I have two jobs as a consultant trainer. One is in Human factors and safety cultures. It's a subject I believe in passionately and I spend a lot of effort training pilots to behave in a way that enhances safety not reducing it. That's just me, hundreds of other training pilots are doing the same.

One accident in ten million flights means no accidents in nine million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine flights.

Finally as an engineer friend of mine said when I asked him if that new building in Dubai could fall down. No it's designed to have a failure life of four hundred years. Mind you it could fall down tomorrow... but it probably won't. Remember the difference between possibility and probability.

Captain Keith

ps Don't worry about upsetting people or challenging issues. I'm all for open debate.

[Captain Keith]

Lotty

Things don't really happen in three's any more than twos eights or sixteens or seventysixes...it's just that we make the numbers fit up to three then start counting again.

Go on the flight. You will not freak out on the plane . You only THINK you will.

It isn't a sign if a cat walks in front of you on the way to the dentist or if a paper bags blows across the street on a Sunday evening....things happen that have nothing to do with your flight. Promise you .

Captain Keith