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Peter...are you asking for help or making a statement?? cause if its a statement then fair enough fella...stay on the ground
if you are asking for help then you can get it....it might be just words on here...or you might want real professional help.
a few years ago i was planning on moving to new zealand...and when i had a bad flight ...which in fact was only bad in my head...i said to my wife ;thats it' i'm going to NZ and thats the last flight i'll ever take.
Ive surrounded my self with knowledge about aviation...i look at the stats...i read about how things are so routine...and a few years later (i never went to NZ) i decided to stop tiptoeing through life just to arrive safely at death...and start living....i took a job that requires travel...in january i flew over 8000 miles....in feb its only about about 6000 but i've just been sat on a terrance in the cool winter sun of istanbul....watching plane after plane after plane take off from the nearby airport where i will board to go home tomorrow.
i do get a little nervous at take off....of course....but the fear doesnt beat me...and you know whatelse....every flight is the same....it goes up.....you get a meal or a drink....and it pops you back on the tarmac safe and sound to go home.