Fear of flying for years is ruining my life

[Ella]

Hi I am a UK born residing in Australia, I never used to be scared of flying, I think my fear began after September 11th. I literally have a belief that if I get on a plane I have a 50/50 chance of surviving, especially with all the recent commercial airline crashes that have happened recently, I did fly to the UK in 2013 and did well, I was with my partner flying at the the time I felt I was getting over my fear and now I'm back to square one, people read me statistics constantly and nothing helps calm my beliefs and fears. I flew to and from Tasmania in December 2014 and was a wreck due to bad turbulence, I need to take Valium on every flight although that doesn't even help. Flying is a must for me as I have family in Tasmania and I am going back to the UK in July 2015. My fear is that bad I drove the 12 hours to get to Sydney so I wouldn't have to fly, please help, your tips would be greatly appreciated. I have also been told weather doesn't affect planes flying although that doesn't seem to be the case for Air Asia.

[andyb99]

its a difficult one to explain because statistics as you say are not helping you....but you drove to sydney for 12 hours..and within that 12 hours 24 people would have died is road accidents somewhere (on average)...but nobody would have died in a plane.

i know its easy to say but did you check your brakes..and your oil...or your tyre pressure? because they do a LOT more checks before each flight.

OK...so you are giving into the fear...we (and you) know that and without knowing your personality i dont know how you can stop that......for me...it was regular flying that helped and realising nothing was likely to happen...at least not as likely as falling down the stairs (which even with this years air travel problems has still killed more people)....but for you i think a pro is the person to help you....and i'm sure he'll come along soon.......keep talking tho....it will help and although this is a small community you are in good company.

[Ella]

Thank you for your reply and your support :) I think deep down I know it's safer than most activities but I then think well If I'm in a car and something happens at least I'm on the ground, I keep having this image of a terrifying decent down in a plane knowing I'm going to die and I feel that if you are in a car and if something happens you have a chance to pull over whereas in a plane it's not that simple. I understand my fear is irrational and I think I sound silly I just keep trying to justify my fear :) thanks so much you made some great points

[Captain Keith]

Hi Ella

What about all the other planes that flew through the airspace at the same time as the Air Asia flight?

I want to help you so I want you to send me ten bits of evidence to show me that flying is safe.

Then send me ten bits of evidence about what scares you and makes you feel so bad.

Then we'll have something to work on.

I look forward to helping you.

Captain Keith

Keith

[Ella]

Hi Captain Keith



Thank you for your reply, I think in regards to the Air Asia flight I know deep down it is very rare for a plane to crash due to weather although I let my mind trick me into thinking I will be getting on a domed flight and what if this is the one from millions of flights.



Here are the ten bits of evidence to show me flying is safe;

1. No other form of transportation is as scrutinized, investigated and monitored as commercial aviation it is safer than most activities.

2. Millions of flights take off around the world each day without incident.

3. Turbulence is safe and just a normal part of flying.

4. Air Traffic control is highly regulated and safe

5. Aircraft Engineers are very experienced and are of high quality

6. Pilots are professionals

7. The cock pits are locked after 9/11

8. Pilots often go a full career without ever experiencing engine failure

9. Planes can with stand bad weather

10. Pilots have family too so they ensure themselves and passengers are safe

The ten points that scare me include ;

1. Not being in control

2. I'm scared of air pockets and the plane plummeting for a few minutes

3. If something bad happens up in the sky and the pilot looses control for example a mechanical fault

4. Having to say goodbye to my family knowing I will never see them again

5. Crashing Into the ocean and being alive but all alone or crashing on a desert island and being alone there too

6. Take off I hate I feel that the movements are very rough on some take offs

7. Crashing into another plane

8. Terrorist attacks on the plane like 9/11 and the plane being taken over / bomb on board

9. I don't like having panic attacks on the plane, which I get often

10. Getting blown out of the sky like MH17

I know this sounds silly and crazy but this is what scares me and it was a lot easier writing the list about what I'm scared about then about how safe flying is, but saying that as I was writing my list I thought what are the odds though. Thanks for your help I will be purchasing your fear of flying book this week as well.

[Captain Keith]

ANSWERS 

1. Not being in control

Take control of yourself and leave the flying to me 

2. I'm scared of air pockets and the plane plummeting for a few minutes

no such things

3. If something bad happens up in the sky and the pilot looses control for example a mechanical fault

In 20,000 hours and nothing like that has happened to me 

4. Having to say goodbye to my family knowing I will never see them again

could happen anytime car, electrocution, falling down stairs food poisoning, heart attack 

5. Crashing Into the ocean and being alive but all alone or crashing on a desert island and being alone there too

very very unlikely I haven't heard of such an event... would make a great story ...maybe that's where you got the idea???

6. Take off I hate I feel that the movements are very rough on some take offs

which movements?

7. Crashing into another plane

Air traffic control radar systems show this  likely hood and prevent it ... plane have equipment to avoid this

8. Terrorist attacks on the plane like 9/11 and the plane being taken over / bomb on board

How can anyone get into a locked cockpit?

9. I don't like having panic attacks on the plane, which I get often

find a system to deal with your attacks ... staff on board are used to panic attacks so will know what to do

10. Getting blown out of the sky like MH17

I'm scared of that too but it's so unlikely that i don't think about it ... more useful is to not stand behind a horse ... being killed like that is much more likely.

[Ella]

Thanks for your reply Captain Keith ! I do have a couple of queries.

I had a friend who was in a plane and it suddenly dropped for a few moments, is this normal?  I don't like the movements the plane makes when it is turning or during take off, this makes me very uneasy.

Regarding the plane crashing into another plane, there was a report here in Australia of two planes nearly colliding (commercial planes) recently http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-09-21/too-early-to-tell-how-close-q...

Regarding the terrorist attacks someone may place the bomb under the aircraft? I know this is very unlikely though and checks are made.

I think I am my own worst enemy I have seen Air Crash Investigation and try to justify this is the reason I should be scared. I also understand the media blows everything out of proportion just to get views.

[Captain Keith]

There movements  are normal, planes have to turn and they have to take off.

nearly colliding isn't colliding.

Stop watching Air Crash detective ... and you won't be feeding the fear. 

I followed the link ... most of it is hysterical garbage.

Keith

You are in control of these things aren't you?

Keith

[Ella]

Hi Captain Keith ! Sorry about the late reply, thank you you have made me feel better. I am going to stop feeding the fear

[Captain Keith]

great news well done 

Keith

[Carsy araneta]

Hey Ella! Youre not alone and not silly. When i was reading your messages i felt like i was the one writing it. Im so scared of airplanes as well. Like im travelling in 5 mins to japan (a 4 hour trip) and i cant stop thinking about it. I have missed so many opportunities already! Everytime i try to think positive i counter it with a negative because im so scared i might jinx it. A lot of my friends laugh at me but it's a real problem. Im going to see a hypnotherapist tomorrow and try to get over my fear

[Captain Keith]

We'll have a new on line course availAble by the end of this week let me know you're interested and you'll get 25% off the normal price of £100

Keith

[Ella]

Hi Carsy you sound exactly like me !! I think if I think positive then something bad will happen, people don't understand why I'm scared they try to give me facts and talk me into a sense of security but my anxiety overpowers it. Valium doesn't even work really.