Fear of flying for years is ruining my life

[Ella]

Hi I am a UK born residing in Australia, I never used to be scared of flying, I think my fear began after September 11th. I literally have a belief that if I get on a plane I have a 50/50 chance of surviving, especially with all the recent commercial airline crashes that have happened recently, I did fly to the UK in 2013 and did well, I was with my partner flying at the the time I felt I was getting over my fear and now I'm back to square one, people read me statistics constantly and nothing helps calm my beliefs and fears. I flew to and from Tasmania in December 2014 and was a wreck due to bad turbulence, I need to take Valium on every flight although that doesn't even help. Flying is a must for me as I have family in Tasmania and I am going back to the UK in July 2015. My fear is that bad I drove the 12 hours to get to Sydney so I wouldn't have to fly, please help, your tips would be greatly appreciated. I have also been told weather doesn't affect planes flying although that doesn't seem to be the case for Air Asia.

[Ella]

Thanks Captain Keith shall let you know

[Captain Keith]

Hi both

Valium and hiding from your fear won't work BUT facing your fear will. It's hard. Of course but not as fearful as you imagine

Lots of people here have felt just like you do and now fly. They don't love if but that's not the an. Just learn to manage it

Get this flight done and then we'll guide you to fixing this fear

In my opinion hypnosis isn't the answer you need to know what and why you think the way you do and most of it will be down to mis understandings about planes why not have a look at the facts on flyingwithoutfear.com.

Keith

[Captain Keith]

Be confident that we'll fix it for you. That's a promise

Keith

[JvL]

The jinxing it if i feel positive struck a strong cord with me. Im the same. I find it hard to let go of the fear and i think its a control thing. The fear has become part of my flying ritual so to speak. Im not sure how to break the pattern.

[Captain Keith]

Hi Jvl

I see a lot of ritualistic habits. It's as if you are tempting fate by not following your routine, isn't it?

Before I  took off I'd always make sure that my left shoe lace was done up properly, then I'd touch my right ear three times and cough once before clapping hands and only when I'd done all that would I ask for take off clearance.

Now that's clearly nonsense isn't it ... but if it works for you why shouldn't I have a ritual to 'make things even safer'?

Or don't jinxes and rituals work for pilots?

Captain Keith

[JvL]

Thats it. I wear the same clothes when i fly. The problem is that it starts to take over and makes me fearful. 2 years ago we missed our connecting flight in frankfurt due to a delay and were booked on the next flight the following day. I had a complete meltdown as it wasnt the flight i had booked and mentally prepared for. Control gone. But i did get on the new flight even though it took alk my will power and it was fine. It was actually a really smooth flight and the normally nearly 11h to joburg only took 9.5h due to great wind. And we got upgraded to business. Guess that should teach me a valuable lesson.

[Captain Keith]

So should pilots have rituals? Yes or No

Keith

[JvL]

Im sure some do but its not necessary. I wouldnt wear the same pair of socks to work every day as part of a ritual so why would they. Flying is a day at the office to pilots.

[Captain Keith]

No I don't know of any pilot that went thru' a ritual before flight unless you call reading the checklist a ritual!

Keith