so ive struggled with flying for years but was making progress through this forum and reading the books. last year i thought i was cured & booked a trip involving 4 flights. by the last flight from nice to edinburgh i was back to nirmal freaking out unable to think rationally. all because i think i hated the take off when the plane turns quickly over the water. 

anyway since then i have been dreading flying adn not wanting to visit this site as i am now convinced flying is really dangerous & as ive no control over whether i live or  die im not doing it that way i am in contro unless i really have to. i thought i sont want to be cured i am actually being reasonable it is risky! i cant escape flying as i have to sometimes do it but i am now back to that bad place. i flew to barcelona on ryan air recently & convinced myself they cut safety corners as they are such a budget airline got in such a state in the flight i started getting dizzy, sweating and breathing fast. i tried to walk to the toilets and ended up almost falling to my feet & being sick. the flight back was more of the same scenario.

now i am due to fly to krabi in thailand in nov which involes 6 all round flights!! how on earth am i going to do it? i cant cope being locked on that plane unable to get off, i am so frightened of experiencing turbulence, i dont trust my life in the hands of the pilot. we are flying qatar, then still to chose between thai airways and air asia from bangkok to krabi but which one is more safer, am i at more risk of dying with these airlines? i dont know how i can do it i cant even seem to distract myself out of that histeria when it starts on the plane.  i need to be able to cope again & feel like i am not going to die........

any help is appreciated

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Hey Laura.......slow down.

The only mistake you have made is thinking you were cured and maybe letting your guard down. We need to get you back to where you were when you took your first flight.

First thing....write me a note saying that it's beyond belief that you'll ever want to fly again...but that you WILL be going on holiday in november. Your thoughts about dying are totally misplaced when compared to all the other risks in life. FACT.

Keith

Keith

I used to be the same when it came to budget airlines.   I would refuse to get on them, forking out hundreds just for what I thought was a "reliable" airline.   And then I realised that they're all just as safe as each other.    The companies would never want to have an accident on their hands, and the pilots flying the things wouldn't want to risk their lives either.   I'm sure they'd refuse to get on a plane if it wasn't safe, which is something I like to tell myself.   If it's good enough for the pilots, it should be good enough for me.  I mean they would know if stuff was up, or cheaply done and unsafe.

As for the rest, I don't know what to say to fix it as I'm currently struggling with my own flying demons.   I'm flying to Japan on the 8th of july so I'm a bit hnnngh over it myself.  I will say though, Qatar Airways are an amazing company to fly with.  The staff on their flights are pretty incredible and I'm sure they'll do their best to try and make you more comfy if you need it.  I was on a flight with a similiar long haul carrier, and when we hit very slight clear air turbulence I was freaking out.   A flight attendant actually sat with me, held my hand, and explained that it was more bumps in the road than anything.   It didn't cure me, but the distraction was pretty sweet.

Best of luck, hopefully in a few years time we'll both be at a point of flying like pros.  ♥

Maybe in a few months even. Stick with it...and do the things that normalise flying. Budget air lines just charge you differently...

Just check how much it costs with everything included ...the inconvenience of booking way ahead. Sometimes flying ay inconvenient times. Not going exactly to the destination but miles from  the city or place you want to visit. Taxi costs. Try taking your golf clubs and extra baggage. Not so budget then.

And never forget that these airlines only fill in on all the services that the major airlines have been covering for years.

It's easier to copy a business than to set one up from scratch. The magor airlines have had to 'scrap' their big offices, all their booking staff have been made redundant, new aircraft are financed very advantageously and of course are infinitely more reliable than the original airliners. So budget airlines have it easy compared to the established ones. We have seen the demise of lots of conventional shops...Clinton cards...because, in that instance you can print your own cards now on the internet. 

The problem is that to a nervous customer   the word budget is misinterpreted.

Keith

I know I will be going on this flight in November there is no way I'd get away with cancelling it and its the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate my birthday!  I just dont know how I am going to cope where do I start again?

 

I am glad it doesnt sound silly, but I am not as scared about the Qatar flight as I seem to have more trust in them.  Although I am concerned about the time on this flight and the feeling of being stuck and not able to get off, and what if the pilot makes a mistake!  My life is in his hands.  We fly from heathrow to Doha then Doha to Bangkok with Qatar.

 

Has anyone had any experience with Thai airways or airasia?  I am not sure which one to go with they both have flights roughly at the same time, but its these foreign airlines that you usually here about crashing.

 

The media rarely likes to report anything good, they only report things that net them sales.  Kind of like customer service- people will always say the negative, but rarely the good :)   Personally?  I would maybe google image the interiors of the planes and see which one takes your fancy, if that helps.

Laura Cunningham said:

I know I will be going on this flight in November there is no way I'd get away with cancelling it and its the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate my birthday!  I just dont know how I am going to cope where do I start again?

 

I am glad it doesnt sound silly, but I am not as scared about the Qatar flight as I seem to have more trust in them.  Although I am concerned about the time on this flight and the feeling of being stuck and not able to get off, and what if the pilot makes a mistake!  My life is in his hands.  We fly from heathrow to Doha then Doha to Bangkok with Qatar.

 

Has anyone had any experience with Thai airways or airasia?  I am not sure which one to go with they both have flights roughly at the same time, but its these foreign airlines that you usually here about crashing.

 

So  you don't trust me in charge of your plane?  Who flies the planes that don't crash? I've flown Thai airways..they were fine. 

If the pilot makes a mistake it doesn't mean the plane will crash.

Here's a queation to focuss your mind...do you think you van drive a car better than I can fly an aeroplane?  I do a 'driving test' every six months...do you? Were you as well trained as a driver as I am as a pilot. Do you know how to control a front wheel drive scar in a skid...is there a difference if it's rear wheel drive?

What's the stopping distance from 70 mph  what's the thinking distance. Do you know all the road signs?

So I'd check up on the taxi driver before you doubt the pilots skills. Point made I hope

YOU MUST DEAL IN FACTS. You are worrying about things that aren't realistic.

Do you read the safety leaflet ...do you listen to the crew briefing...all these things make your flight safer.

Keith


Laura Cunningham said:

I know I will be going on this flight in November there is no way I'd get away with cancelling it and its the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate my birthday!  I just dont know how I am going to cope where do I start again?

 

I am glad it doesnt sound silly, but I am not as scared about the Qatar flight as I seem to have more trust in them.  Although I am concerned about the time on this flight and the feeling of being stuck and not able to get off, and what if the pilot makes a mistake!  My life is in his hands.  We fly from heathrow to Doha then Doha to Bangkok with Qatar.

 

Has anyone had any experience with Thai airways or airasia?  I am not sure which one to go with they both have flights roughly at the same time, but its these foreign airlines that you usually here about crashing.

 

Just as a little addition, I've flown on both Air Asia and Thai Airways (used to live in China and then in Vietnam.)

Thai Airways I used quite a bit, London to Bangkok and Bangkok to Hanoi. Bangkok/Hanoi was always a nice plane - a Boeing something (don't know the numbers - not the massive one.) Bangkok -> London the plane was always full and a bit uncomfortable, but coming the other way, the plane was usually half empty and the cabin crew were lovely. They'd move people around so that everyone had a row of seats to themselves. And flying into Bangkok at sunrise = one of the most amazing things I've seen in my life.


I only flew with AirAsia once, from Hanoi to Bangkok. It was fine, a slightly smaller plane (Airbus ???) but it was still okay. I was with friends so I didn't feel as bad. It was a bit more 'budget-y' but not as uncomfortable as EasyJet. I had several colleagues in Vietnam who were in love with AirAsia (mainly because of the price, I think.) They are like the EasyJet of Asia.

But they both fly internationally (I could be way wrong on this but I always feeling like planes flying internationally have higher standards than internal flights) and they both got me (+ a few hundred others) safely to the destination.

Oh, and Thai Airways long haul has the worst in-flight entertainment in the UNIVERSE!!!

Where so I start again to get in control of this fear? I have concluded that the chAnces are I am going to be scared an probably wil not enjoy these flights but I want to be able to cope and not have that feelin like I am going to die.
Can anyone recommend how I prepare a coping strategy to get through it?

Thanks

HI Laura

I think the first thing to do is to have more confidence in yourself...maybe ask yourself why you think it's so bad to have these worries.

Why don't ypou write down all your fears and let me see them so that I can comment on them. Flying is normal to me and 'dangerous' to you so we need to find a way of bridging the gap between what I know and what you feel.

We will find a way of helping you to cope with your flights but you have to let go of the past and trust yourself.

And for the time being hand your fear over to me so that you can have a rest from all that worry. And while I'm hanging on to your fear I want you to rest your thoughts about flying and just accept that you'll be taking your flights in November and they won't be anywhere near as worrying as you are anticipating.

Meanwhile no more emotive descriptions of flying...us ethe same words as I would use.

Keith

Hi Keith
I've been having a think over the weekend to get all my fears written down collectively and really figure out what they are. I want to feel like you I want to feel like flying is normal and safe and just do it without feeling any worry atall, but I doubt myself that will happen.
So hear goes;
1. When I step on the plane there is no going back those doors are shut an despite how I feel whether it's anxious or frightened I can't get off even if I decide I've had enough I am stuck there
2. Take off, the flight from Madrid that took off and crashed sticks in my mind, the pilot is in control, what if he makes a mistake or a bird is in the engine, it does not seem natural to lift into the sky like that, I wait during take off to hear something go wrong.
3. Turbulence, again the air France flight causes trouble here, is turbulence really safe? How did that flight crash? When turbulence starts I become so frightened i am sure we are about to hit something unexpected that the pilots won't know about like flying to fast into it. Surely all that bumping up and down can't be safe?
4. Chances of survival - if anything does happen then I wont know as I'm sat way at the back and don't know what's happening, (control thing again). If anything does happen during take off and turbulence the chances of survival are minimal and my life will be over.
5. I actually think flying is risky an the longer I am on the flight the more I am increasing my risks

So that's about all of my fears...how on earth or where on earth do I start? Is it possible?

Kind regards

Laura

Laura

Yes it's possible . I'll write more soon, and answer all your questions.

Keith

Hi Keith

 

I just wondered if you had a chance to look over some of my thoughts I wrote down.  Its 2 months until I go and I am concerned I dont feel the slightest bit easier.  I bought a book on CBT which I'm not sure if it is helping or not.  I've been trying to visualise myself on the plane taking off, experiencing turbelence over and over again to let the anxiety come and go.  Suppose I am just eager to hear your thoughts.

 

Thanks

 

Laura

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