Flying in April with my daughters!

[Isabel]

I'm planning a trip in April to Australia to visit my family with my two daughters, of ages three and almost one, since I'm usually so frightened on the plane that I can't even move, I don't know how I'm going to manage this time flying alone (without my husband) with the babies. I usually notice every little sound going on on the plane, every little bump and of course everything scares me, so I'm dreading this trip, a holiday should be something to look forward to, not the opposite.

Since I live in Bolivia first I have a three hour flight to Argentina, then a fourteen hour flight to Sydney!!!! Yes I know all the numbers and statistics, but I also know that when something happens the statistics only change, someone could get on a plane for the first time in their life and have an accident........ Everytime I have to get on a plane its like I'm making this huge sacrifice.... HELP!

[Captain Keith]

Hi Isabel,

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are quite right statistics don't prove one way or another whether you're going to be involved in an accident. Yes someone could be involved on their very first flight.

 

But the chances are that they won't. And that's what you have to consider. Do you want to take that risk. To help you decide whether it's a sensible risk or not you have to say  "compared with what?"

 

The problem is that we ACCEPT all the normal risks because they are around us all day. So we get used to them and because it doesn't involve us we say it's a low risk.

 

More people in the UK die of cross infection in hospitals than  die in five years of  worldwide  commercial flying. That's in the UK , so you might say they are 'vulnerable people' anyway but the fact is they die. 

No one that I know who goes into a hospital in the UK believes that they're at a 500, 5000 or even  5 times greater risk than being in a plane accident. Why not? 

Are you going to accept the risk or not? If you're not,  you really ought to consider not driving your car again.

I am sorry if I am brutal with my reply but sooner or later you'll have to answer that question.

 

Now then to make things seem more normal...have a look around this site and look at the videos ,read what people have said and read all the information and help on the main website   flyingwithoutfear.com

 

and ask me anything you like about anything that worries you.

Captain Keith

 

[Isabel]

What worries me the most are all the sounds and of course the turbulence, sometimes I have really quiet flights but I'm terrified that the captain is going to switch the seat belt light on...... that means that on every flight no matter how smooth it goes I'm always scared thinking of what could happen. I also start panicking about the fact that once I get on, theres no way I can get out. I think it all started about four years ago when I was flying to sydney from Santiago, Chile in LAN, we had just taken off, I used to be actually the opposite about flying before, totally calm, Then suddenly a flight attendant came running out of first class crying and started to tell the other flight attendant who was serving dinner something, and she gave a worried look. That was when all my fears felt real, like something awful was happening so I was sick the whole fourteen hour flight. Now when I'm feeling scared on a plane I used to look at the flight attendants  for serenity, now I look at them and think, what do they know??? If somethings happens they won't be able to do a thing about it.

I've been sharing this fear with many pilot friends that I have and they all try to calm me down and explain the little things about flying, I even went in the cabin once and they let me turn the plane, but no matter what they say my come back is, if planes are sooo safe, why do they keep crashing?????

 

I know that everything in life is a risk,  just by living you're destined ti die someday, but I would really like to feel calm inside a plane because I know that in the end you could have an accident anywhere, but I guess my emotions get the best of me.

[Captain Keith]

 

Where is the evidence that planes keep crashing...there were none today as far as I know and there were over 500,000 flights today.

 

What happened on this flight where the stewardess looked worried. I'll tell you a story that would make any stewardess cry.

 

A young girl was serving the meals to tha passengeres and accidentally dropped one, of course she had to clear it up from the floor. While on her knees clearing up the mess a passenger said " I bet you wished you'd worked harder at school now."

First class passenger can be very demanding, in fact I've had them in my cockpit making demands ...so it may just have been that. The crew will NOT keep information from you about the safety of the aircrtaft.

 

Tell me exactly when the next accident will be if you're so sure. This week next week tuesday morning.

 

They Don't keep crashing THAT'S A FACT 

 

I've flown 20,000 hours and NOTHING has ever happened to me. Befdore you fly ask the insuranc ecompany if they want to charge you more.  What you think is one thing what is a fact is something else. FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS.

 

Watch the videos until you're bored with them.

 

Captain Keith

 

[Jo]

Hi
I used to be scared of turbulence and on a recent flight there was a lot of it. I got through it  by saying over and over in my head that it was not dangerous just annoying and just like a car going over bumps in the road but the bumps are just the clouds. It was indeed an annoyance as it meant we could not have coffee after our meal! Flying with young kids will be easier than without them for 3 reasons. If it crashes you all die together but more importantly you will have something to distract you and therefore less time to get anxious. My 5 year old told me the bit she liked best was the bumpy bits. We bought small gifts that we wrapped up for the children to open on each of the 6 flights we did. You could try that and also wrap some treats up for you to open to congratulate yourself on how well you will be coping on the flight. Little gifts like a nice face moisturiser and chocolate. Best wishes Jo 

Captain Keith said:

 

Where is the evidence that planes keep crashing...there were none today as far as I know and there were over 500,000 flights today.

 

What happened on this flight where the stewardess looked worried. I'll tell you a story that would make any stewardess cry.

 

A young girl was serving the meals to tha passengeres and accidentally dropped one, of course she had to clear it up from the floor. While on her knees clearing up the mess a passenger said " I bet you wished you'd worked harder at school now."

First class passenger can be very demanding, in fact I've had them in my cockpit making demands ...so it may just have been that. The crew will NOT keep information from you about the safety of the aircrtaft.

 

Tell me exactly when the next accident will be if you're so sure. This week next week tuesday morning.

 

They Don't keep crashing THAT'S A FACT 

 

I've flown 20,000 hours and NOTHING has ever happened to me. Befdore you fly ask the insuranc ecompany if they want to charge you more.  What you think is one thing what is a fact is something else. FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS.

 

Watch the videos until you're bored with them.

 

Captain Keith

 

[Isabel]

So I have been thinking a lot about my trip lately, I've been reading about statistics, watching videos of turbulent flights, and first of all I realised that what scares me the most even makes my palms sweat while I'm sitting at home is the thought of flying calmly and then suddenly experiencing a violent movement and the planes goes into a nose dive, and everyone on board is helplessly screaming...... I guess even my imagination gets the best of me. I also realised that months before I have to fly I get into this mode, where I dont know which airline to pick, Maybe the more expensive ones have better planes, but the cheaper ones have old planes that they now very well, etc, etc. Then I think that because I'm thinking so many awful things about the flight, which I just can't help myself, just because I think them they are going to happen, like I'm jinxing the flight. So I spend nights without sleep thinking about this flight I have to take where I'm  probably sure that I won't make it.

Once When I was pregnant of about five months I had to take a flight, usually within Bolivia I drive to other cities everywhere I can, but they closed the roads because of bad weather, so I had to take a flight back home, which is only a thirty minute flight, I got sooo mad at my husband, I didn't speak to him all day, and I kept telling him if I die its all your fault, on top of that when  I got home I had to make an emergency trip to the hospital because all the conmotion almost made me go into labour!

So I don't know what to do, what flight to pick, what day, so I told my husband to pick the day and the flight and just tell me what week it would be to have my suitcases ready and then surprise me, so I won't have time to "jinx" the flight. but then I think of course, that might be worse, if something happens, which to me it probably will, I'll totally blame him. I guess I think, well I have really bad luck, because its amazing, I have had a hair in my food at least once in every single restaurant Ive been in, from the most expensive ones, to the cheapest, everywhere, my husband keeps on telling me that we should get the lottery, so it figures that I would pick the plane that would go down. Plus I take such good care of my diet, I try not to smoke, I'm sooo careful with my daughters, so it figures that I would become one of those ironies in life! the woman who took sooo much care of her health to have a good old age, never made it to her thirties..... 

 

Also, one of my biggest worries is that a wing, or the tail will fall of or break during a flight.....

[Captain Keith]

And do you believe in Fairey tales and Santa Clause?  Wings don't fall off  in flight.   How can you say that?

 

where's your evidence?

 

You want to live in a world without risk and you think that rituals and thinking will minimise the risks. They won't. I was walking along a road once when a brick fell from a from about 30 feet and hit me on the shoulder...6 inches left or right and I'd have been dead but I don't walk around witha crash helmet on now!

Why blame your husband for everything...your life and the way you interpret it is down to you..you must accept responsibility for it. You are confusing possibility with probability.

 

You should get my book on Motivation  it's part 3 of the flying without fear series of books. You're not unusual in your thoughts  but where's the evidence that any of this nonsense is working?

Keep on asking me things....I 'm here to help you, despite my strong words. As for making it to your thirties that's not up to you...but it would be more productive to enjoy whatever time you've got wouldn't it?

 

Keith

[June]

Zsuzsanna, I love your little mantra!!

a picture of a "humanized", happy airplane in the sky, smiling contently as it was swooshing by the clouds, flying being both its *only choice* and *the one thing it was best at*.

I will think of that during my upcoming flights :-D