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Never posted on anything like this before, just need to hear 'kind words of encouragement' really! Flying out at night..7hrs, with family in tow. Have flown many times but have got much more nervous each time...adrenaline running through me constantly and very ratty with everyone! So want to be excited for trip and not even think about the flight..its exhausting me. Children have offered to hold my hand on plane , which makes me feel like an awful mother!
Found the facts really reassuring, so why do I feel afraid!!???? Positive mantra required!
Any advice...reassurance welcomed,
You feel afraid because you are afraid...it's a normal feeling...some people are scared of spiders. I might take a guess and ask you if your fear has become worse since your children have arrived?
Learn some more facts
read people's stories here
Watch the videos here on this forum
Go to flying without fear and read this page Action plan
Don't try to overcome your fear in one flight...work on getting better each flight. If you were a athlete doing the high jump you wouldn't start with the bar at 10' . You're starting again with flying so go easy on your self please.
Let me know how you feel after reading some more stuff on the site.
Thankyou for your kind words, I felt quite calm last night after reading bits on your site and watching some video clips. But lo and behold when I woke up this morning felt sick still..so I will keep reading/watching the things that make me feel safe. Started sorting out clothes to pack..not enjoying it as makes it real! I have definitely got worse since having children...all to do with mortality I suppose.
I think the build up to flight is actually worse than just getting on the plane! I definitely like to pretend that I am on a bumpy road during turbulance and have my headphones on as loud as I can! Just feel so panicky when I visualise actually sitting on plane! Got to do it!!! I cant back out!
Yes the mortality thing is very significant...when we have a family we have more to lose so we start to exaggerate the risks that previously we accept without thinking.
But of course the one thing you don't want to do is fill them with fear so that's a great reason for dealing with it. What are the things that you actually worry about?
I worry about mainly the middle part of flight..actually like the power of takeoff, also landing is great (if not too floaty!) I actually find it hard to move around on flight,I stay in same position ( for hours) with seat belt as tight as possible! I may sometimes relax if distracted by film etc but find heightened awareness is making this harder each time. I hate not seeing air stewards walking around...and love hearing chat from pilots! I am trembling actually remembering how scared I have been in past. Just scared plane will suddenly, dramatically fall and I will have a terrifying end!
I dont know why I feel it will happen to me...its so annoying, I love to visit other countries but this is spoiling any dreams I have of sharing experiences with children.
Thanks for listening,
What evidence is there that planes 'dramatically fall'? It's never happened to me ...why should it happen to you ?
OK...I admit its all stored away from films and crashes discussed on news programmes..9/11 certainly and Air France recently..sorry I feel guilty even typing about it. I dont want to put these thoughts 'out there' and scare others too.
I understand that I'm at no higher risk because of these events but my fear will NOT go...I know I WILL get on plane but I have mentally turned it into such a big event.
We're here to hear your thoughts so don't restrict what you say...why won't you let your fear go? What makes you hang on to it ?
Thats a weird one to answer...never thought about why I wouldnt let it go. Just always felt it was out of my control! I think its because I worry that by feeling alright and not fearing..THEN it will go wrong!! Twisted mind playing games...maybe the pessimist in me?
This is very common..thinking you'll keep it all safe by worrying ...and as soon as you stop worrying it all goes wrong eh?
So ...we move onwards and upwards.
What other rituals do you use in life to keep yourself safe? Do you step on or avoid the cracks in the pavement? Walk under ladders? Trouble with this approach is that the more you do it the more you believe it so the more you have to keep doing it. Do things happen or not happen because you do or not do things?
Worth thinking about.
Would you like me to have superstitions when I fly or...to use a check list to do things properly?
Weird thing is if you were flying...I would be much happier as I've chatted here with you!
In my 'normal' life I'm brave regarding superstitions and dont believe in them really! Its really good to see that some of my fear may be related to not being able to relax without 'jinxing' myself! Its definitely a new thing to focus on...
Checklists are definitely preferable! ..my anxiety has decreased..for now!
I have to get my mind around the fact that worrying does not make any difference..and believe that! (funny thing at the moment I know I dont really believe it!) Could we carry this chat on tomorrow?
I'm working tomorrow but will be here in the evening probably
Thankyou, I feel quite relaxed right now,
I will think about what we discussed further,
Really appreciate your time,