I can barely look at myself in the mirror now because i feel like a coward

today, i cancelled my flight to go to my brothers wedding. i also was suppose to be the best man. i was suppose to fly from nashville to denver then to san jose.

ive been on many flights before, but it wasnt until i joined the military that i developed my fear. i worked as an aircraft mechanic on awacs "boeing 707" since i was a phase inspection inspector, they developed my mind to think that every little wrong on an aircraft can bring it down, from a hair line crack on a non structural equipment, missing/ loose rivets, anything and everything, so while inspecting we looked inch by inch, one thing i learned is that for every inspection theres two follow up inspections. i got so good at inspections that no matter how many follow ups there were i can always find something.

i know because of my past i developed lack of trust for people. i also came to realize that if something bad happened i was afraid i wasn't right with God. i know i need to get right because when its your time its your time and could happen at any second. so ill be attending church more and praying to become less fearfull as a person. 

to note, i actually enjoy flying, i love take offs and landings, i just dont really care whats between that. i also know take offs and landings are the highest risk and the part i dont like is that safest part of flying.

i hope someone can help out words of wisdom or someone who shares my same feelings. im completely heartbroken about the choice i made. i usually gut it out, but this time i couldnt control my anxiety, i didnt sleep as usaul but this time a couple of hours before i was suppose to go to the airport i had sharp piercing pains in my heart. 

again anything helps...

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Don't beat yourself up so Chris. Are you human or a machine?

You're no different from thousands of other people who develop this fear and although that may not help right now, it 'll be worth knowing that you're not alone. 

I think the first thing you need to overcome is your feeling of being weak. The fear of flying is no more a weakness than any other fear. How many 210lb men are scared of spiders? Thousands I bet. Do you describe them as cowardly?

Rest your thoughts for a while until you don't feel so stressed. We can talk  about this in a little while.  

Meanwhile take it easy on yourself 

Keith

thank you, if you dont mind here when i settle down can i ask questions about the commercial side of aviation? 

Sure thing

Keith

do you know that the fear of dentists is the second most feared (phobia) thing worldwide!! do you think fear of flying is above that? what do you think is number one??

without googling!!! have a guess....heres a clue.......its not the fear of flying!!!

fear is natural....and while i dont agree with the praying thing (thats just me i'm not a believer).....i think you've already decided to help yourself...and that step is called bravery.

like keith says....dont beat yourself up



andyb99 said:

do you know that the fear of dentists is the second most feared (phobia) thing worldwide!! do you think fear of flying is above that? what do you think is number one??

without googling!!! have a guess....heres a clue.......its not the fear of flying!!!

fear is natural....and while i dont agree with the praying thing (thats just me i'm not a believer).....i think you've already decided to help yourself...and that step is called bravery.

like keith says....dont beat yourself up

i was going to guess flying. lol. thanks for the words andy, it really does help.

its public speaking!!! scares even more people that flying and is just as dangerous!!!

:-)

reallly, lol. im going to have to remember that the next time i fly, thanks again



andyb99 said:

its public speaking!!! scares even more people that flying and is just as dangerous!!!

:-)

I thought it may have been spiders andy!

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