Lifestyle choice or trapped?

[Sarah Pace]

Hi everyone.
This is my first time on this website. My boyfriend heard Captain Keith speak on TalkSport and I felt it would be a good place to share my experience and my choices.
I have flown many times in my life, I have never enjoyed flying, instead choosing to have a few drinks before the flights or in some cases cancelling them completely a day or so before the flight. In the worse instance I tried to have a fight with my boyfriend before we were due to go on a weekend break purely due to the logic that is we broke up then i wouldnt have to go in a plane! The last time we went away I found myself taking to the trains instead which, although long to Spain, allowed me to relax and have a good holiday without worrying about it before or during.
The problem I now face is that I had booked my summer holiday for the year to Croatia and as the time was getting closer and closer I was getting more and more worked up with crying fits and just generally not being able to think about anything else. I dont know why I am scared of flying but I just sometimes think I cant do it and just cant and dont want to get on the plane. To try and overcome this I decided to go and see a hypnotherapist, however after a couple of sessions they turned me away saying I couldnt be cured and maybe I should stick to my original thought of travelling by boat and train.
I subsequently cancelled my holiday to Croatia and rebooked to go to the South of France by trains, and for everyone who has asked I have told them that I am happy to spend a long portion of my life travelling around Europe which I can do without flying. I feel that I should be happy with this decision, that I can do this without any fear, and I dont want to visit anywhere far away right now, but I would like to believe that one day I could get on a plane again and that I would like to do so, but I cant imagine it :(
Any similar stories or ideas?

[Captain Keith]

Sarah

You will be flying one day... and perhaps imagining it should be the first step, rather than seeing yourself as a fearful flyer why not imagine that you can do it. You don't have to take a flight yet ...in fact you're not thinking about taking a flight for the foreseeable future from what you say, so there's no harm in imagining it. Think about taking very small steps in overcoming your fear, think about taking a year to deal with it, take the pressure off yourself and spend a while free on the anxiety.

Watch the progress of people on here and pick for yourself the things that appeal to you in overcoming your fear.

I'm always here to answer your questions.

Keith

[Plugster78]

Hey Sarah,

I too have been travelling by train - I really enjoy it, find it stress free and love the views! But, i too would hate to feel that I would never fly again, or let it stop me going places.

I can vouch that previously using this site, reading Keith's book and various relaxation techniques have really helped and I managed to even almost enjoy some flights (although, the hours before have still been stressful...).

I tried a hypnotherapy session once that I'm sure helped alot with the anxiousness around it, and stopped nightmares I'd been having.....

I think it's an on-going process...I don't think there is a magic cure (unfortunately!!)

Good luck, and keep checking on here....watch the mini video clips...I found them really useful!

:)

[Captain Keith]

Hi again Sarah

...nice to chat on the phone and put a voice to your profile. Right now I'm off to the simulator so I'll send you the links I promised you later today or tomorrow. In the mean time congratulations for facing your fear in the way that you are and I look forward to meeting you on one of our courses.

Keith

[Sarah Pace]

Hi there
Thanks for your reply. It really helps to know that there are other people with similar concerns to me! I went to France last week by train and I have to admit it was totally stressfree with lovely views but I couldnt help but think what took 7 hours by train would only take 2 by plane! I have just spoken with Keith and do feel like the use of this site, talking to other people and the course will really help me, like it has helped you to overcome this fear and get on a plane.
So watch this space!!

:)

[Sarah Pace]

Thanks Keith.
:)

[Phoebe Jane Wilson]

Hi Sarah

I had never flown due to fear when my daughter told me she was emigrating to Australia with my 2 young grand children, I thought I was never going to see them again...........the easiest way to tell you what happened after I found this site and bought the cd's, dvd and Keith's book is to send you the link.....this is my story

http://fearofflyinghelp.ning.com/forum/topics/phoebemy-incredible-j...

Phoebe x

[Cristina Stephens]

Waow, the difference between 2 hours and 7 hours!

At this moment, I am praying to get through one more trip by air, back to the US - as there is no other method available for us to get back right now.

Thereafter though, to see my family/homecountry again I am looking at 9 days of traveling, one way only, until we somehow manage to move from the New World back to the Old One (anywhere in it!). In the meantime the itinerary for the future will be:

Atlanta-NY (by train) - 16 hours or so
NY-Southampton (by boat, Queen Mary 2) - 6 days crossing the Atlantic
Southampton - Bucharest 2 days or so, crossing Europe west to east.

When there's a will, there's a way.
I wanted to do it now but the boat booked up before I made up my mind, plus it would have been horribly difficult to travel with two small children by myself for that long.

But this is what's in the cards for the future, assuming the airtrip I am facing in 10 days will leave me with a future.

It's THAT bad.

[Lois]

Hi
I just wanted to say I'm the same. I've just returned from my honeymoon in the south of france. We went by train with my two small children (1 and 3). It took 13 hours as we took the car on the overnight service. My husband (having already put up with ten years of train travel) constantly pointed out that we could have been there in two hours had we flown. The kids went CRAZY on the train and I felt so guilty and bad subjecting my whole family to this just because of my me and fear.

My husband has been offered a job in the Bahamas and my fear is so bad I'm currently at the stage where I can't fly out there to look at schools/houses. We have agreed he is going to fly out alone and organise all that.. I will just fly out as and when we move there for good (god knows how!) How crazy is that! my whole life is about to change and I can't even fly out there to check it will be the best thing for my kids.

My reason for posting is I have also looked at taking the boat, and like Cristina says, its booked and not really an option with such small children.
Anyway, I'm coming to the fear of flying course on the 18th... fingers crossed it will help me a bit!!

[Captain Keith]

Hi Lois

Keep an open mind because there are very few people who can't be helped..and you have a great reason for dealing with this fear. Before you come to the course try to forget all the baggage you bring from previous flights and experiences. Remember too that when you find a strategy to deal with your anxiety about flying you will feel differently about taking a flight. You won't feel like you do now...although that's nigh on impossible for you to imagine right now.

Will you be bringing your husband to the course as your supporter?

I look forward to meeting you on the 18th. And in case I didn't mention it ..we'll have a really relaxed day with plenty of smiles and maybe a few tears but the whole thing will be geared to your needs and I know you'll finish the day feeling a whole lot more positive about flying. And I hope there'll be time for you to pop back and do your free top up course before you fly.

Any questions you need to have answered before the 18th?

Captain Keith

[Lois]

Thanks Keith. I'll be coming alone as he will need to look after the kids. There is one question that I was saving for the course, but perhaps like you say try not to bring baggage with me.

A friend, who never used to be fearful flew back from Norway two years ago. Its a 1hr 30 flight. Half an hour into the flight something happened to the pressure in the cabin and the pilot had to lower the plane down to ten thousand feet for the remainder of the flight. All the passengers had to wear the oxygen masks for the remainder of the flight too. She said that although the descent was very controlled, there was an air of panic. She has been unable to fly since.

My question is this: what happens if that happened on my flight to Bahamas (miami i guess) and we were half way accross the Atlantic? I know the plane needs loads more fuel to fly at ten thousand feet than it does at 30 thousand. Surely we would run out of fuel??? I can't get the what if's about this scenario out of my head. Somehow I feel happier about flying over land, knowing that if something like the scenario above happened there is plenty of places to land...

If you could tell me what you think probably happened to my friends plane, and what you would do if that happened over the atlantic somewhere I'd be grateful.
Lois x

[Lois]

Keith,
I know you are busy, but I'm just bumping this up if you get a mo to let me know your thoughts.

Lois

[Captain Keith]

Hi Lois

Great question....one of the most important fuel considerations is just that. Most people would think that the amount of fuel that we carry is connected with what we'd do if an engine failed...now you know that truth!

Re your friends flight...I haven't heard of a procedure where the passengers are asked to keep their masks on below 10,000 feet. There are no mountains between Norway and the UK so they would have been at 10,000fee.

If there were an air of panic it wouldn't have been the pilots, doubtful that it was the cabin crew...so probably the passengers. Tell your friend that she wasn't in danger and that she should fly again. Pity to be worried about something that is not at all unsafe. Ask her to speak to me.

What would I do if it happened over the Atlantic...carry on to the destination in all probability
Looking forward to meeting you on Saturday

Keith