Hello

I've recently joined the Fearful flyer's Forum having done Captain Keith's course October 2009.  I have flown once since then, to Amsterdam, which was brilliant fun but I didn't enjoy the landing coming back - it was windy and I felt very scared! I think we tend to 'hang on' to the scary bits as fearful flyers!

 

My husband and I are due to fly to Barcelona in 3 weeks time and I really need some positive support please as this trip is very important to us. Any advice or reminders about the fun part of flying would be most welcome!

 

Yvonne

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Hi Zsuzsanna

 

Thanks for your reply. Yes you are so right and these are all things I tell myself from time to time ( the safety aspects; reading my notes about previous flights etc) My relaxation techniques tend to 'go out the window' when I'm getting nearer the time of flying so I will make sure I keep these going every day and on the plane too. I like what you said about imagining all the planes landing safely evey second...a comforting thought!

My favourite memory of my last flight to Amsterdam was that we took off in gloomy rainy weather and just a few seconds later we were up there in the blue sky with shiny white clouds below us!!! Amazing and beautiful!

Good Luck to you too with your flight!

 

All the best, Yvonne


Zsuzsanna said:

Try to imagine all the planes landing safely every moment all over the world - that often helps me. I once made a calculation that it's one plane every second... All the time!! Chances are your flight will just be one of those. Also, remember that you DID land safely despite feeling nervous... The pilots (and the airplane) probably thought it was just another perfectly normal flight, and they (both the pilots and the plane) have taken many, many other safe flights since then... Our levels of fear aren't correlated with the actual safety of flying. It isn't less safe just because we are more nervous about it... In other words, no matter how you feel, you just can't crash the plane with your mind. So you might as well try to stop anticipating (it won't crash just because you think it will), reconnect to reality (it is STILL flying), and enjoy the ride (hey, do you ever get to see those kinds of views otherwise?). Good luck!!

 

Oh I'd also recommend making a flying diary, where you record your experiences before/during/after each flight. It is sooo reassuring to read an experience you had many months ago and find that in reality it was much better than what your mind is telling you today. In reality, it was a huge personal achievement, the "bad" parts probably only lasted a fraction of the time and there were many more positive things about it than you remember now... and it's good to read it in your own words.

 

(I am flying in a week myself, and getting a little bit nervous already, but, knock on wood, overall I'm doing fine so far... We have yet to see how well my own tips work on me when I'm actually there...? :p I ordered the Guide, hope it arrives by then...)

Hi Yvonne

 

To me it's all fun.  But I wonder if that's the best way to see it? Why not just work on what you managed previously and be happy to accept that again. You mustn't set  your expectations too high. Be content with what you've done so far. If you think about it ...you're contemplating the flight, you're positive that you'll go and above all you've done it ...these are wonderful achievements. Be proud of that and be content that managing as well as you did previously will get you there and back. You're bound to feel a bit  of stress...let it come for the ride.

 

WELL DONE

 

Hi Captain Keith

 

Thank you for your encouraging email and thanks, also, for reminding me about my achievements so far - I needed that!

I have booked 2 flights recently and turned up to the airport and then run away so I now wish to put that behind me and really try to focus on the positive. We are going to do a 'dummy run' to the airport before our flight to Barcelona next W/E; I'm going to pack my suitcase and pretend we are actually going. I'm also going to practice the diaphragmatic breathing techniques.

 

All the best, Yvonne


Captain Keith said:

Hi Yvonne

 

To me it's all fun.  But I wonder if that's the best way to see it? Why not just work on what you managed previously and be happy to accept that again. You mustn't set  your expectations too high. Be content with what you've done so far. If you think about it ...you're contemplating the flight, you're positive that you'll go and above all you've done it ...these are wonderful achievements. Be proud of that and be content that managing as well as you did previously will get you there and back. You're bound to feel a bit  of stress...let it come for the ride.

 

WELL DONE

 

Hi Again

 

Yes I think that's a good plan. Anything that normalises flying is good for fearful flyers.

 

Keith

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