Hi everyone,
Well this time I have really pushed myself and taken on a big challenge as I am going on a company trip over the weekend to Rome.
The flight leaves at 6.45 am on Alitalia and I am not allowed to book my own seat, the company have a block booking so...first time...no taking to pilots, no sitting near the front and most importantly, no tears or being able to be me as I need to be business like and not embarass myself. Usually I manage fine in the end but get so teary and panicky, my friends and family understand but I wont be able to explain to my work colleagues how bad it is. I did try and speak to the lady organising but she understandably has so much to do...not sure she realises its a real problem.
This time I feel I have really taken on a challenge.
I feel trapped already so I must try and change my way of thinking. This is a wonderful opportunity to enjoy Rome and its sights, to get to know some more people from the office but why do I feel so terrified? I think its because I am flying so early and wont be able to tell the crew how I feel.
I have also never flown Alitalia.
Am very scared and am confused as I have flown 5 times this year so I would be strong for this trip and am so wobbly I cant sleep. With all the flights I went on I had such a ritual that helped me but now I cant have the same ritual I feel complete terror...maybe rituals and habits for flying arent such a good idea.
Any help for an old time member would be great :)

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2 days to go...its not getting easier.

I have decided its a control issue so I will try to let go of the control and just let it happen.

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