Hi everyone - it has been a while since I have posted on here and today I felt like I really needed to. For about a year and a half now I have been putting off flying again and have cancelled numerous trips however when my boyfriend found out his family were holding a birthday party for his dad in Ireland I thought it was a great opportunity to try and get on the plane again.
So he booked me a ticket and told me not to think about it until the morning of the flight and then decide what I was going to do then. This was working really well until Tuesday morning when I started to feel sick and anxious again. I kept thinking I cant do it, I wont do it to the point where I thought I was going to book a ferry ticket to get over there instead. In the end however (last night!) I decided that I was going to try and get on the plane this morning.
I got up this morning convinced I couldnt do it, but I thought if I just take one step at a time then maybe. So I got to the airport, I got through departure, I made it to the gate and I even managed to step foot on the plane but then I felt like everyone was fussing over me too much - the staff and crew were all really friendly as they could tell I was a nervous flyer, however then they got me to go talk to the pilot, kept telling me how great everything would be and even offered to buy me a gin and tonic!! However I found the whole thing totally overwhelming and had to get off.
In a way I am sort of proud of myself for getting as far as I did (before now I have been cancelling flights 3 weeks in advance!!) but at the same time I'm really annoyed with myself for getting so close and not doing it at the last moment :(
Has anyone had any similar experiences or words they can share with me on this. I dont know whether it was a mistake to have gone through all this and not flown as it may make it harder now for next time?