Having a setback...very angry

Hi Keith,

The battle continues, I came on your course and subsequently managed to get to Australia where I now live with my wife, thank you for your message on Twitter it was nice of you to ask how it went. The answer to how it went is not that good - imagine a crying, quivering ball of fury sat in a seat. That was me. I did it though and I got better, I worked on it, I practised my strategies, I had a plan and was able to go on my honeymoon with very low levels of fear.

Anyway we're off to Sydney for the long weekend and I'm scared.

I'm excited about being there, but not about getting there. I'm struggling to get the former sentiment winning!! It's only a flight from Melb to Sydney, barely over an hour. It seems I'm having a setback and I don't know what to do to feel better, I'm not in as good shape as I was before my honeymoon which is strange. That was 2x2.5 flights straight after each other and I was totally fine, even had champagne. I didn't freak out, I was a bit anxious but pretty low on the fearometer.

This is dumb and I feel angry at myself, please help

P.S I'm definitely going, I don't care what happens.

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Comment by Captain Keith on June 12, 2012 at 12:58pm

Hi Rob

Most planes have a choice of thrust settings for climbing, Climb 1 and Climb 2 so it's easy for the pilots to remember ...sounds like he selected Climb 1.

Keith

Comment by Rob on June 12, 2012 at 2:18am

Hi Keith,

Thank you so much for responding, it really helped. I did exactly as you suggested and took everything along with me for the ride. Your point about being on a journey is so true, the progress I've made in a year is significant. I now take flights with fear under control and my mind is automatically combating negative thoughts with facts. They still appear but I'm equipped...and I'm getting better

On the way back from Sydney something interesting happened, the weather was bad as we took off and the engines were loud for a long time...this worried me but I reasoned it was to get above the weather and on our way quicker. We were last off the plane when we landed as we were sat at the back and I saw the Captain as we got off so decided to ask if what I'd imagined was in fact true. He was so helpful and even sat me in the cockpit! He explained they wanted to get above the weather and make a right turn as soon as they could in order to save some time - the engines weren't straining or anything they just wanted to go a bit faster, all very normal. I can't believe how helpful they were and seemed really pleased that someone was taking an interest in what they were doing. My key learning from this trip was if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask - it helped so much and I've eliminated some 'what if's' by doing it. All very valuable

Thanks again

Rob

Comment by Captain Keith on June 8, 2012 at 2:22pm

ps  You're not allowed to feel dumb or angry   ...it's a waste of good energy... you're NOT dumb and feeling angry jusyt makes things worse.

I've just taken up hacking the grass with a golf club...and I have promised that I will not waste energy getting upset about bad shots, rather I'm chanelling the energy into making the next shot better. I plan to make at least 2000 bad shots before I start moaning at myself.

Keith

Comment by Captain Keith on June 8, 2012 at 2:19pm

and you'll probably find that all this anxiety is for nothing...

as I'm sure you remember ...what and where is the evidence for what you are thinking. Your feelings are bound to go up and down  ...TAKE THEM ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

This is a long journey and you need to be confident...you've done it before and you'll do it again...this anticipatory anxiety is normal.

Keith

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