With only 17 days and 8 hours (yep I'm counting down) till I board my flight to Paris I have decided to start blogging how I'm feeling leading up to it. For a bit of background I think my fear of flying really became a big problem once I'd had children. When I think of it most of my fears set in once I became a parent. All the what ifs.... what if the car crashed and leaves my kids orphans? what if the plane falls out of the sky..... etc etc etc. If i'm honest with myself I'm just a scaredy cat or a sooky laa laa as my lovely children like to call me. I dont know if I'm more scared of the flying overseas or leaving my children behind with my mum for 25 days. I think every parent thinks "Well nobody will look after my kids like I do". My mind is constantly running with remember to tell mum not to do this with the kids, or that with the kids.... just incase something happens and I'm 20000 kms away.
Anyway back to my holiday. I'm flying with Emirates over to Paris on the 16th October. I'll have two stopovers, 1 in Singapore after 7 1/2 hours flying and 1 in Dubai after 9 hours flying. My partners already over there and will be there to meet me at the airport after 24 days apart so that parts really exciting. We'll spend the best part of 22 days with his parents and family in Kosovo but hope to see a fair bit of Europe on the way to and from Kosovo.
I've been to the doctor and been prescribed Diazapan 5mg to calm my nerves before the flight. Did a test run over the weekend with my mum up here incase I had a horrible reaction or experience on them. Am happy to say that they did relax me quite a bit. I also take Inderal which is a beta blocker for cluster headaches so between the two of them I was feeling very mellowed out. I'm just hoping on the day I fly once the adrenaline kicks in that they'll have the same effect.
Two nights ago I woke in a cold sweat after a nightmare where I'd reached the airport and as the calls for departure came over the loudspeaker I backed out. I was horrified that this might just be the case of the day. To make matters worse I'm flying with a friend of my partners who will be travelling around Europe while we're over there and he thinks its hillarious that I have fear of flying and is already telling me horror stories of what could happen. He will see my darkside if he starts this in the air.
Tonight I plan to go to bed and visualise myself stepping on the plane calmly and practise my deep breathing exercising in preparation for the big day.