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Sorry if this makes no sense. I can't sleep (worried about stuff) and I thought I'd write a blog post. I actually wrote a long blog about my experiences on Keith's ground course but I'm not sure if I'll post it (it's not bad or anything, it's just long.)
I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I learnt on the course and on my own strategy for getting over this (because I WILL get over this <grrrrr>.)
I think I’ve been holding onto this fear, a bit like a safety blanket. I know it well and it’s never changed. I know how scary it is forcing yourself to board a plane when you have that deep down feeling in your gut that something terrible is going to happen. And the trapped feeling when the doors are closed, the terror that makes me want to scream as we take off, the constant nail biting anxiety during the flight, the tearfulness during the descent and the relief (and weird, sudden claustrophobia) on landing. I know how bad all of that is, but I also know I can go through it and survive. And every time I’ve done it, the flight’s been totally normal, incident free and has arrived safely. So what will happen if I stop doing it?
I want to say that nothing will happen. The crew (and plane) don’t know or care how I feel and it won’t affect the flight.
But what if something does happen? Arrgh! What if what if what if what if what if?!?!!
What if a grand piano falls onto one of the wings, what if an alligator is released into the cabin, what if someone finds the axe? How is ANY of this helpful?!?!
How about this?
The plane might crash. It’s okay to be afraid of that. But it’s counterproductive to spend an entire flight assuming it’s going to happen at any minute when you have so much information that tells you it’s highly unlikely.
Brain lies, plane flies. I love that quote. And tonight brain is tired and needs to sleep. 2 weeks until my next flight.