I was never scared of flying until I was about 25. After that I became petrified - although I flew a few times a year, I would always grip the seat handles, be tense throughout and jump at every noise. The worst was just before I was about to go on honeymoon, I had complete hysterics in the toilet at the airport thinking "I've just got married and now I'm going to die!". However, since having children and flying quite regularly with them from Scotland to Cornwall each year, the fear has dissipated - I think it was the fact that I had to look out for them and make sure they were OK and I was utterly determined not to show them I was frightened. I also read Flying Without Fear, which helped greatly.

However, my husband and I have booked to go to New York in March - it is a lifelong dream of mine to go there and I am so excited. But... ever since I booked the flight, the irrational, fearful thoughts about the flight have been popping into my head and I don't really know why. It might be that we are going without our children and so I won't have them there to ground me. Also, very irrationally I feel that I will be leaving them and never seeing them again.

So, I am determined to get back to where I was - in a place where - dare I say it - I actually enjoyed flying. I feel I just need to take my time to go through all the information and get my head in a place where I can look forward to the flight rather than be already worrying about it.

It is such a big trip for us and I don't want to spoil it with these fears, so I am going to look at the website, read the book and watch the videos (a little a day) and do my best to fight the fear.



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Comment by Captain Keith on January 11, 2014 at 10:20am
Comment by Captain Keith on January 11, 2014 at 10:19am

Of course you must go to New York.

If you don't go "because of the children", what fears might you encourage in them that 'mum wouldn't fly'.

I'm sure you wouldn't want to give them that burden, but it means being kinda selfish doesn't it? You have to risk their feelings to make life normal to them. But the reality is that there is no risk, and if there is, it's a whole lot less  than driving to the airport. 

More realistic would be to avoid driving ... but you know that. You just don't believe it.

I'm here to help, even though I sound a bit harsh at times.


Comment by Captain Keith on January 11, 2014 at 10:12am

There are almost 500,00 people airborne right now.

Check out this post

Flying without fear blog   another 'best there is'  for fearful flyers 

Comment by Lynne Perkins on January 11, 2014 at 9:55am

Hi Maria

Goodness - isn't it strange that our stories are the same. I always feel like I am the only one being so irrational, so it's good to know I'm not alone (not that I'm saying you're irrational but you know what I mean!). I am definitely going to try the elastic band trick. I am actually feeling happier day-by-day anyway - it's like my mind thought - ha-ha, you're going on a flight that's different from the ones you usually go on, so I'm going to make you worry about it. But I have started to say - no, I am not going to worry about it, it is safe, it is normal, thousands of people are up there right now, drinking tea and reading books and it's all good.



Comment by Maria Chumas-Baker on January 11, 2014 at 8:34am
Hi Lynn, your story is more or less idwentical to mine in that I used to fly all over the world. My fear started in my mid twenties and, at the airport waiting to do on honeymoon, I was javing kittens and nearly decided to get off the plane as were were all boarded and waiting to leave. I had exactly the same feeling - just got married and am now gonna die. I had my daughter and then the responsibility was towards her on on flights.
My daughter is all grown up now and my fear got worse and worse. Keith's course really helped me but I am still fearful. My 3 tips are:
Keep seatbelt fastened as tight as possible.
Keep an elastic band round your wrist and ping it at each irrational thought.
If you have Keith and Jasper's CD as an MP3, download it on to your ipod and listen to it during the flight.
Lastly, always tell the staff on board thst you are a fearful flyer and they will generally look after you well. AND Think of Keith.
Enjoy New York Lynn.
Comment by Captain Keith on January 11, 2014 at 12:49am

hi Lynne

i'm  a bit busy right now   but if I forget to write  give me a reminder


Comment by Lynne Perkins on January 10, 2014 at 4:47pm

Hi Yi Lyn

I think perhaps the anxiety is that it is a longer flight  - about 8 hours. The ones I regularly take are usually about an hour, so less time to sit worrying - although I realise, of course, that the flight time makes no difference at all.

I have actually found that, since looking at the website yesterday and today, I have felt better already. I have looked at the videos and thought - yes, that's fine, that's normal, I can do that. And now, every time I think about the flight I think about the fact that, it's not just a flight, it's a flight to New York - the place I have wanted to go to for about 20 years! And I smile, instead of feeling worried - so that's good :-)

Thanks for your encouragement.


Comment by Yilyn Lim on January 10, 2014 at 1:38am

Hi Lynne

Is there something specific about the flight that is causing you anxiety? I've never been to New York but it's definitely on my Top 10 list of places to visit. I'm sure you'll have an amazing time with your husband. 

Remember that you want to go on this holiday, it is something that will make you happy. My therapist tried this with me: she told me to set aside 5 mins to worry every day and that's all I am allowed. After that I am not allowed to worry about the flight anymore. This exercise helped me control some of the anticipatory anxiety leading up to my flight. 

I'm glad that you are determined to get back to a place where (yes, say it!) you enjoyed flying. You can start to plan about what you want to do during the flight. I kept myself very busy on my last long haul flight. I loaded films and TV shows onto my iPad. I would watch a TV series halfway and stop so that I could finish it on the flight. I also played Candy Crush on my iPhone which is very addictive and a major time suck :)

You can do it! I am rooting for you and I can't wait for you to tell us about how wonderful and amazing New York is when you get back. 


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